ravage your body ♥ ravage your mind

Friday, December 25, 2009 { 9:15 AM }

I can't wait to go ice skating, again, on Sunday.
Now that I know the directions.
Anyways, I had a good day today shopping groceries and eating dim sum :)

love♥

Thursday, December 24, 2009 { 10:55 AM }

Just can't wait to get back to sleep.
Aw man this is killing me... So sore.
Ice skating moved to Sunday or next week.
I need sleep. Rest.

{ 3:45 AM }

{ 3:44 AM }

{ 3:31 AM }

Aaaahh!! I've been having such a crazy ass time lol. Since Sunday.
On Sunday I went on the Hop on Hop off bus with my cousins. We dropped by KL Tower to eat and then we got back like around... 7?
On Monday I went ice skating :) I have to say that was extremely fun and I finally restored my lost skating/blading skills haha! I didn't fall though, my cousins did.
It was so tiring. We went to Bangi first then to Sunway and the parking was insaaaane! Oh well. So we skated for more than two hours I think... and then ate at Wendy's.

Before we went skating me and my cousins were making fun of this Indian kid :P They were having a class and the ass kept on falling and tripping so we all laughed.
In the end I laughed at my cousins for falling more than that kid hehehehe.
Then on Tuesday I went to Genting. Argh god it was so friggin cold. I literally couldn't see anything on the Space Shot. I looked down and it was just... pure fog and cloud. And when it went down i think my stomach went up to my throat or something haha.
That was my second time :)
Then we went on so many other ones... and I bought my strawberry ear muffs and stuff! I'd post the pictures later.
After half a day of freezing we literally went to an even more freezing place... Snow World! I know I'm like so friggin lame. But it was so cold.
I had snow rubbed on my face and in my shirt and sneakers and bleh. But it was really fun. Couldn't feel my lips and my nose haha so I thank god for the ear muffs.

We went home that evening.
Oh and yesterday, Wednesday, I went to pav with my honey and we watched Avatar. Again, for me. We ate at Yo Sushi before that and the Takoyaki there was... bleh. It was better at Sushi King. Anyways. After the movie we met Dihna and it was the most trippiest time ever. LOL. Real crazy. Then I got home close to 10.

And today... ugh my feet. I went to Sungei Wang with my mom and her friend. I bought my sandals and shorts and then we walked to Pav where I (finally) bought my grey ankle boots!! LAST PAIR!! YAY!!! Oh and Raisa works at Cotton On, haha.
I'm just waiting to go dinner after this. My parent's anniversary today.

Tomorrow I'm going to go ice skating again! With my baby bear.
love♥

Friday, December 18, 2009 { 6:22 PM }

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
Today's my sweet sixteenth and my friends aren't around.
I woke up happy but it turned out the wrong way afterwards...

Yesterday was really fun. Met my baby and John and hung out.
But before that oh wait I forgot... *ngeheheh*
I've never seen so many tears shed yesterday.
It was just so dark. And idk, on a rainy day.

Went back to Ampang and Lenny passed me my gift.
Then took a cab with his friend to Pav and he went to Times.
Sneaked in a movie with Daniel, Jaz and the others.
I have to say it was one of the most annoying experiences ever to have sat next to a ball of lard, talking shit through his asshole, and I could barely concentrate on Avatar.
Got home close to 10pm.

Anyways.
I've been pretty unhappy. Lonely, more like, without my friends.
You know. The one person I ran to when I was hit was my mother. But she didn't try to understand me or comfort me in anyway aside from judge me and criticise me and blaming me for the incident.
I feel so hurt and so sad that no one tries to talk to me to understand me and get closer to me. But rather, judge me from afar and try talking to me, but instead not relating on my matter but judging me without understanding why.
I don't know how many tears have fallen today itself (on my birthday)... I just want to get away to the comfort of my closest friend.
I'll go Sunday and be back on Tuesday afternoon.
Compared to everyone else I know... she understands me and advises me and calms me down.

My own family, my parents especially, just do not care about what I feel about things. I have thoughts, feelings and dreams too but to get to know me and why I do things, first they got to know the real me.
Till this day, only three people know me.
For me.

love♥

Thursday, December 17, 2009 { 6:33 AM }

There are so many ways that I can say, that I hate you.
I hate that you make me wait.
I hate that stupid smile on your face.
I hate that you make me worry.
I hate that you blow me off.
I hate that you're troublesome.
I hate that you make me unhappy.
I hate that you are clingy.
I hate that I am clingy.
I hate that everytime you cry you make me feel like rushing to you.
I hate that on our first year anniversary I didn't get a single present from you.
I hate that everytime I hurt you I just want to wipe your tears away.
I hate that whenever someone makes you angry I just want to grab my baseball bat.
I hate that I feel whatever you feel.
I hate that you don't have a car.
I hate that even the most simplest favours I ask, I almost never get.
I hate that going on dates with you is a rare forbidden pleasure.
I hate that you're not independent.
I hate that you're tied down.
I hate the fact that I love you being unlike me.
I hate that you break my heart.
I hate that you never glue it back together.
But most of all, I hate that I love you.

Sometimes I just feel like throwing you away like a used tissue into a metal bin, pouring alcohol over you and just setting it alight. I just feel like joining hands with my posse and dancing around the fire and see you degrade to ash and your smoke disappears into the night air.
I can't even explain how I feel right now. Whenever I plan something, it is ALWAYS cancelled or postponed (which is cancelled) or it happens and at the last minute, you can't.
I hate that I felt so embarrassed the first few months we went out. I hate that I didn't dump you when I had the chance. I hate that I didn't dump you before I fell in love with you.
Sometimes love makes person do crazy things. I disagree.
I just want to fucking throw myself out the window and die by his feet. See how you like that!!!!!!!